Of Bra Straps and Bare Shoulders

I've been sitting on the couch for hours reading, staring, thinking. Somewhere in the afternoon- an hour ago or a minute ago, I don't know- the straps on my tank top and my bra have slipped off my shoulders hanging loosely against my arms. This often happens during the day and I can be found at any given time pulling them back in place. But tonight I let them lie. They feel mildly sexy laying there with my hair brushing against my bare shoulders. The layers have finally grown long enough to brush my chin at their shortest and my shoulders at their longest. You would be pleased. I know you hated it when I cut my hair.

You are the reason I don't fix my straps. Sitting here like this with my dangling straps and hair in my face reminds me of that day we spent at the beach. I wore that sundress you loved so with the little yellow sunflowers. I could never get over how much you loved that dress. I don't think it was the print so much that appealed to you as it was the novelty that I was wearing a dress. Me, whose standard uniform is jeans, was wearing a yellow sunflower sundress for you. I loved you then.

We were at the beach and I was laughing at you laughing at me fighting with my hair in the wind. It was long then and the seabreeze wrapped it around face and neck like a wild thing. Every time I tried to pull it off my face and trap it behind my ears the wind would catch it again and whip it back into my face. I didn't have my customary hair tie on my wrist because you'd held my sweaty, flush body against yours that morning and begged me to leave my hair down for the day. I could no more say no to you then to stop my tap dancing heart after our rushed loving.

I remember while fighting with my hair that the straps from the dress had fallen off my shoulders. I heaved a frustrated sigh and held my hair back with one hand while reaching with the other to pull the straps back up. I froze though at your whispered "stop". The look in your eyes had me instantly wet and you sheltered me from the wind and sun as you leaned into me licking the salt from my bared shoulder. Nothing mattered after that, not the sun or wind or the people around us on that blustery April day, just you and me laying together in the sand with your head cradled in the salty groove between my neck and my shoulder and the straps of my dress hanging down my arms.

It's been a long while since that day. My hair has only recently grown long enough to dance wildly in a breeze again and the yellow sunflower dress is somewhere in my closet. It could be hanging or it could be on the floor behind a box or a suitcase. I haven't thought of it in ages. I never really was a dresses girl though you know. I was only that for you and you alone and you are long gone, but tonight, with my straps hanging down I could almost be that girl again. I could almost be yours again.